Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
