dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Randomize
