You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Randomize
