well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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