I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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