thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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