i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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