i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Randomize
