I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
