WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
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