"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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