Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
