what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
