Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
