Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
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So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
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Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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