My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize