i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
