The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
