did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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