At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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