put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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