Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
