He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
