I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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