I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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