I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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