Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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