Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
