Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
that's an acceptable place to lick
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
