tell your sister to shave her snatch
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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