When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
