She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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