Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
