IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
