Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
