it was like his penis was on wheels.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
