The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
