Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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