All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Will exercising make me less horny?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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