plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
