I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize