he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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