so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
