so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just invented taco cereal.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just gargled with NyQuil
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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