im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
