I hate all girls vehemently.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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