Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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