I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
