my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
