cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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