Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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