At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Randomize
