There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
