Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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