So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
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