i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
