If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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