You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
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Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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