this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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