So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
