If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
