either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
