Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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