I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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