belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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