i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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