first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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