I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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