There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
