I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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