Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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