Just fell off a train. Bad.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
