would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
