BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
